I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
