but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
