So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
