I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
