We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
