I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
