I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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