Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
