I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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