We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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