ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
