there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
