Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
