No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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