I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
