Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
