i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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