just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
