Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I looked at my own cervix.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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