Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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