Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
