some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
