Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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