A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Of course I have a pirate flag
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
