I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize