KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
