I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
