Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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