Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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