I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
