well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
