Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
