Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we're making bets on your personal life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
