and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
should my penis look like a turkey
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize