dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
