I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
