I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize