well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize