dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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