Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
you never un-have a 4some
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
