Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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