Yo dont text me then not text me
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize