i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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