You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
