did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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