I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
