I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
