I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
