We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I cut my penus on the lid.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I can't turn off my feet"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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