You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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