these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
