So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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