Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This is my gift to your gina
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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