So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
