Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize