he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
