i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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