Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
