Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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